Fashion Critic With A Twist Gifts

No shirt, no shoes, no salvation

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"That shirt is so last year."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Bernice Mountain Dog

Falloon's Menswear. Where it's always brown trouser time.

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

Naked Furniture

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

Crocodile Shoes

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."