Fashion Critic With A Twist Gifts

No shirt, no shoes, no salvation

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Falloon's Menswear. Where it's always brown trouser time.

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Bernice Mountain Dog

"You're wearing too much rouge."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

Crocodile Shoes

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

Naked Furniture

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'