Playful Dad Pillows

Father's Day

Timber!

'Don't be silly. It must've just been a random selection of sounds she made... How could she have called you 'an old slap head'?'

'I would like to have a little talk with both of you!'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum,'

'Happy Birthday, Dad, we got you a safe to keep all your money in - only you and us will know the combination!'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'The kids were so sweet...'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Circus Act

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!