Playful Dad Gifts

Father's Day

Timber!

'Don't be silly. It must've just been a random selection of sounds she made... How could she have called you 'an old slap head'?'

'I would like to have a little talk with both of you!'

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum,'

'Happy Birthday, Dad, we got you a safe to keep all your money in - only you and us will know the combination!'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'She's just great with the children.'

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"Werewolves of London..."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'The kids were so sweet...'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'