Playful Cook Gifts

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'Hoopla!'

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

"So if I replace all the ingredients with sand I should be okay."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

Baloneystini

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Better Not Squash.

All-Candy Seder.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Amy Sedaris

'Needs more kale.'

Modern Parents

Picasso

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

Child doing the washing up

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Sushi Train Set.

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

"If dinner was a reality TV show broccoli would be the first thing I'd vote off!!"

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

Noodle exchange program.

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.