Playful Gourmet Gifts

Stand back - while I whip something up

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Better Not Squash.

Quartet of chefs.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Sushi Train Set.

"I like my steak well done."

Down on Her.

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

'It's all made by stateless people, wanderers, nomads, whose only anchor is cheese.'

Salvador Deli

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'How come you never bring meatballs?'

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

Football Pudding

"Some volcano roll!"

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

Pizza Fencing

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

"You're right in berating me, ma'am, as I personally decided the price of each entree..."

Christmas canape?

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

'What...and you take the plunge to call this a gourmet restaurant??!'

'I don't eat red meat.' 'This is green.'