Culinary Playful Gifts

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'How is the water prepared?'

Better Not Squash.

Baloneystini

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

Chef De Party.

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'Tasty bird.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Don't tell him anything."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Sushi Train Set.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

"The doctor will she you now."

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

'Creme brulee! You're the best Mum!'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

Stand back - while I whip something up

"Wanna do lunch?"

Bar Refaeli

"If dinner was a reality TV show broccoli would be the first thing I'd vote off!!"