Culinary Playful T-Shirts

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

'How is the water prepared?'

Better Not Squash.

Baloneystini

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Chef De Party.

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'Tasty bird.'

"Don't tell him anything."

Sushi Train Set.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

"The doctor will she you now."

'Creme brulee! You're the best Mum!'

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Stand back - while I whip something up

"Wanna do lunch?"

"If dinner was a reality TV show broccoli would be the first thing I'd vote off!!"