Plant Killers Gifts

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

Gardener attacked by plants.

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

Fenwick, while I'm away I'm putting you in charge of the plant.

Frost advisory tonight.

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

"Have you seen my hot water bottle?"

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

In the houseplant cemetery.

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

Fruit and Vegetables - protestors signs read 'Stop this brutality' and 'Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants'.

'Dan sculpted the shrubs to look like hunters to keep the deer from eating them.'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

Protecting the green

The Fireside Jungle: Beware of introducing pest into the house with new specimens.

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

"For someone in the hospital, I'd recommend this arrangement -pleasant colors, a nice variety, and they all can be eaten for medicinal purposes."

'That's typical of Nigel - endangered specimens come first!'

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

Orchid show. Do you have experience with many species. Do I ever! I've killed on of those, and some of those, and

"Other script ideas? Of course! I've been working on one about a killer plant and only your family and a lamp can stop it."

Garden Pest Solutions

"Everybody back. . . Minefield!"

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

"Will you be eating the flowers and knocking the vase off the counter here or to go?"

June: Aphid, millipedes, weevils,scab, blackleg...and other pests will be active.

Garden store owner chasing away birds from his seed display.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

"Here's Pollen!"

When We'll Take the Environment Seriously