Planning A Visit Gifts

Baldo, I really got to know you on my recent visit. I want you to come see me someday. Here is $300. Save it for your plane fare. Don't even think about using the money to buy a car."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Paul Klee

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Italia tours

"I just..."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

The Rise of Modern Art

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Raphael

"Then what happened?"

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

BIG BOOK OF CAMPER VAN NAMES

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'