Planning A Trip Gifts

"I need travel insurance...starting yesterday!"

"Thanks for spending me hours showing me all the brochures...now I think I'll go and buy my tour on the internet."

"Here's your room key, and here's your mountain view."

Humpty Dumpty Travel Agency.

"It says the cost of the flight went up because we acknowledged its existence."

'We want to get as far off the beaten path as our WiFi coverage allows.'

"I'm going to France - I'm a different person in France."

"Where do you want to worry we're spending too much money this summer?"

'He's determined to go where his bags go!'

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

Drinking hurricanes in New Orleans

Passport Picture.

'Hi, pal -- I'm collecting for a trip to Sturgis.'

"False alarm. It's just wanderlust."

Catskills

"Well, the forecast shows a heat wave in our first week, heavy rains in the second, some hail the following week, and a snowstorm at our final destination."

'Good news!! I've located a small island in the middle of one of their oceans, where you'll be safe from war, religious conflicts and crime!!'

"Let's just enjoy our holiday. The whole incident with your stalker is over now. We won't see him again."

'Oops, that one crashed, too.... but don't worry, sir -- I'll find SOMETHING going to California.'

"Would you like to pay more to switch your seat or would you like to keep the one next to the teething child and the five-year-old with diarrhoea."

"And do you each have a passport and body armor?"

"I don't care how much you saved. This is the LAST time we fly on vacation with a budget airline!"

So this is why my vacation package was so affordable!

'This Port Aventura. It's not in Spain is it?'

Free safety demonstration on board the flight? Yes, and free oxygen in a fully pressurized cabin!

Commuter Airlines

Man in the rain wants to go on holiday.

'Don't you think it's time we bought new suitcases?'

'I'm sorry, but you couldn't get a flight to Beijing that soon for all the tea in China.'

Go Now, Pay Later/Pay Now, Go Later!

Working holiday visa applications: Approved/Wish you were here.

Japanese tourists smiling at CCTV in art gallery.