Pizza Experimenter Gifts

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Cookbooks

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'It's my favorite.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Children playing games

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

The Velvet Mesquite

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Pizza time.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Then add one extra large egg..."