Menu Experimenter Gifts

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Cookbooks

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Is the MSG local?"

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Party time.

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Lockdown casserole