Recipe Experimenter Gifts

"Ok, so this must be the ingredients."

'Oops! Almost spilt some in the food.'

"Don't ever tell me how to cook again!"

"We make all our cupcakes with love, which is way cheaper than real vanilla."

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

'The recipe calls for blubber, onion, carrot, olive oil, lemon and tomato. I left out the onion, carrot, olive oil, lemon and tomato.'

'I've been watching so many cookery shows I haven't had time to make your dinner.'

Kitchen Consultations

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Cookbooks

"What's this in the stew?"

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"The kitchen is my canvas!"

"So if I replace all the ingredients with sand I should be okay."

"Maybe your new recipe is not quite perfect yet!"

'The gravy turned out a bit thick.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

"When your Scottish smoked salmon comes batter dipped and deep fried, you know you're in the South."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"Tried a new recipe: Blackberry stew!"

"We need to put in more bones."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

'You better get out your cook book. There's a food critic out there.'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'Then fold in two egg whites, lightly beaten...'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.