Ingredient Experimenters Gifts

Cooking Contest. I hear you can make tempura out of anything. Yep -- Anything you can do, I can do battered!

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Cookbooks

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

'Diet considerations.'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

The Inexperienced Cook

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"She's my hero. Life gave her lemons and she came up with pomegranate cranberry lemonade."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."