Ingredient Experimenters Pillows

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Cookbooks

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'Diet considerations.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

The Inexperienced Cook

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"She's my hero. Life gave her lemons and she came up with pomegranate cranberry lemonade."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"