Kitchen Experimenters Pillows

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Have you got some E98 and E695 for 'Ma Traffords home baked apple pie'?

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'Never mind the flambe, I'll have the icecream.'

Hair dryer broken again?

"You were supposed to have invented fire!"

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

'I made the mistake of buying Greg a do-it-yourself wine making kit and a beer kit. Now we've got a 5-year supply of chianti with a thick, creamy head.'

"I've started a new diet. I'm supposed to put Worcestershire sauce on everything I eat."

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Cookbooks

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Lockdown casserole

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."