Food Experimenters Pillows

'You know, I bet if we steamed that and dipped it in mayo, it wouldn't be half bad... that or use it as some sort of weapon.'

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

"Black coffee and bran muffin... big mistake."

Chicken Sundae

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

'You're putting fruit into your famous tuna smoothie.'

Peanut Margarine

"Lab-grown?"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Ten out of ten for effort...

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'No creamed peas for me today!'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"She's my hero. Life gave her lemons and she came up with pomegranate cranberry lemonade."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Funky Chef 2

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

"You were supposed to have invented fire!"

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

Conversion of food products to petroleum substitutes - Conversion of petroleum products to food substitutes.

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.