Culinary Experimenters Gifts

Faith-Based Tuna Casserole

'The beef has been genetically modified to taste like a more expensive cut.'

"First, break the egg...."

A touch of Christmas Spice...

'We also sell water for $200 a glass.'

'I'm still waiting for someone to invent a bran cereal that tastes like good ol' fashioned bacon 'n eggs!'

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

ROOMTEMP BURGER

Lady playing with bread at the dinner table

"I'm all out of flour, but surplus cocaine produces an exceptionally flavoursome banana bread with a moist, light crumb. The recipe's up on my blog!"

'What a weird smell in here...'

April 12,1989: The last day Ryan ever ate pancakes. 'I ran out of pancake mix so I fried up patties of my facial cream.'

Soup on a stick

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

"You didn't have to go to the store for stuffing mix, Mom. I used our leftover Halloween candy."

Lockdown sushi

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Like death by salad.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Cookbooks

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

Sauce for the Goose