Piscatorial Humorist Gifts

"Must you always play with your food before you eat it?"

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

Guide fish.

Pirates at the mall.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Walking the Plank.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Man painting MOM on boat

Shark Chum

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

Another hot flash?

Fish Farm.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

Prawn Shop

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.