Piscatorial Humorist T-Shirts

"Must you always play with your food before you eat it?"

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Pirates at the mall.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Guide fish.

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

Man painting MOM on boat

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

Fish near-death experiences.

Prawn Shop

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"