Pool Side Humorist Gifts

'There's always one.'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Dolphin tricks.

Scene on the English coast.

'Which end's the shallow end?'

No petting in the pool!

'Is it just me, or does this water feel unnaturally warm?'

Tentacle attacking diver.

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

'Ha! Fake out!'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

Bomb's Away

'That would be way embarrassing.'

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

"Hey buddy move over! This is the fast lane!"

'Which is the deep end?'

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

'Synchronised swimming.'

Ah heck, don't complain now! This is just the 'Warm-up'!

'I'll trade you three eight-inch shiners for that 24-inch bass.'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

'...Where did you get all these piranhas?'

"OY! You trying to nick my chips?"

'Amazing! 140 decibels as he hits the surface! That puts him easily into first!'

'The gannets are worse than the gulls!'

Non-Smoking and Non-Urinating End at Swimming Pool

"Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed..."

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

Pool Rules: No Diving, No Splashing, No Walking on Water.

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

'Bernie. You better have my ashtray by the time I get there!'

New Season's Bathing Machines