Poolside Comic Gifts

'...Where did you get all these piranhas?'

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

Dolphin tricks.

'Which end's the shallow end?'

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

Tentacle attacking diver.

No petting in the pool!

"Good news, your yacht club membership has arrived!"

'Ha! Fake out!'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

Bomb's Away

'That would be way embarrassing.'

"Shake! Good dog."

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

'Which is the deep end?'

'Synchronised swimming.'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

Aquarobics.

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

"You don't need a mask, I filled it with hand sanitizer." (man swimming in a pool, inviting in another person who is wearing a mask)

Social distancing

'Bernie. You better have my ashtray by the time I get there!'

Diver bouncing so high he flies out of the pool.

'There's always one.'

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

'Drew has always wanted to learn to water-ski, so we go this lap pool.'

Swimming lanes in a bathtub

I invited him to join me for a couple of laps and he drank half the pool.

'Sally, there's someone else.'