Poolside Reader Gifts

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

Bankside

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

One of Many California Gene Pools

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"You've been in long enough! Two more dives then out!"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to put your dust jacket back on."

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

Mozart on a lilo

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

Husband burrows under sand to get a closer look at woman sunbathing topless at the beach.

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

Dolphin tricks.

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

Holiday Reading and Back to Work Reading

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

Artist Misses the Point

Desert Island Books

"You're overthinking this."

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"It's nice to see John finally relaxing."

Lemmings on Vacation

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

'I'm just not feeling sufficiently incentivised today.'

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

'OK, you wanted to shoot a game of pool and I wanted to lay by the pool. The main thing is that we're here together.'

"Tell your dad we offer adult lessons."

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent