Poolside Reader Gifts

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Bankside

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

One of Many California Gene Pools

"You've been in long enough! Two more dives then out!"

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to put your dust jacket back on."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

Mozart on a lilo

Dolphin tricks.

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

Husband burrows under sand to get a closer look at woman sunbathing topless at the beach.

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

Holiday Reading and Back to Work Reading

Desert Island Books

"It's nice to see John finally relaxing."

'Despite anosmia she fonded her penuche.'

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

Artist Misses the Point

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

"You're overthinking this."

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

'I'm just not feeling sufficiently incentivised today.'

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

'OK, you wanted to shoot a game of pool and I wanted to lay by the pool. The main thing is that we're here together.'

"Tell your dad we offer adult lessons."

It was a bad day for Mr Effervescent

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."