Poolside Protagonist Gifts

"No peeing in pool"

Pool attached to child's bed.

Bring your own inflatable.

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

Bankside

Dolphin tricks.

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

"The inflatable pool is a harsh mistress."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

'How did our ‘Get Away From It All' vacation turn into a ‘Take Most Of It With You' long weekend?'

No petting in the pool!

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: When your new best friends down the street install a swimming pool.

Tentacle attacking diver.

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

'Ha! Fake out!'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

"Good news, your yacht club membership has arrived!"

"Shake! Good dog."

Swimming

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

Swimming with dad

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

An elderly couple arrive at Kiddie Pool Buffet, where people are wearing swim suits etc. and serving food from the pool itself.

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

'Which is the deep end?'

'Synchronised swimming.'

Dive in...

'I can't take the stress test next week. I have to go to the pool with my grandson and show him how to do a one-and-a-half gainer of the high diving board.'

'...Where did you get all these piranhas?'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

'Get in the house now!'

'What a RIP-off!'