Poolside Comic Fan Gifts

'Bernie. You better have my ashtray by the time I get there!'

Bankside

Dolphin tricks.

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: When your new best friends down the street install a swimming pool.

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

Tentacle attacking diver.

No petting in the pool!

'Ha! Fake out!'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

"Shake! Good dog."

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

Bomb's Away

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

An elderly couple arrive at Kiddie Pool Buffet, where people are wearing swim suits etc. and serving food from the pool itself.

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

Swimming

Swimming with dad

'Which is the deep end?'

'Synchronised swimming.'

'...Where did you get all these piranhas?'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

'Get in the house now!'

'What a RIP-off!'

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

'Listen Jimmy, as a member of the School Swimming Squad, you're not taking your training seriously enough!'

Social distancing

'Uh-oh. They are out of ice and looking our way.'

'And some sunshine.'

Diver bouncing so high he flies out of the pool.

'There's always one.'

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'