Poolside Comic Fan Gifts

'Bernie. You better have my ashtray by the time I get there!'

Bankside

Dolphin tricks.

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

Tentacle attacking diver.

No petting in the pool!

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: When your new best friends down the street install a swimming pool.

'Ha! Fake out!'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

An elderly couple arrive at Kiddie Pool Buffet, where people are wearing swim suits etc. and serving food from the pool itself.

Swimming with dad

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

"Shake! Good dog."

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

Swimming

Bomb's Away

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

'Which is the deep end?'

'Synchronised swimming.'

'...Where did you get all these piranhas?'

'Get in the house now!'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

'Listen Jimmy, as a member of the School Swimming Squad, you're not taking your training seriously enough!'

'Uh-oh. They are out of ice and looking our way.'

'And some sunshine.'

Social distancing

'There's always one.'

Diver bouncing so high he flies out of the pool.

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

'Drew has always wanted to learn to water-ski, so we go this lap pool.'