Pirate History Gifts

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

Piracy on a boating lake

'Are we there yet?'

The Dubloon Stops Here

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Treasure Island Book.

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"