Pirate History Pillows

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

Piracy on a boating lake

'Are we there yet?'

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Treasure Island Book.

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'