Pirate Life Gifts

"You just need to be patient, son."

The Ship's Parrot learns how to order dinner

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

The Dubloon Stops Here

Piracy on a boating lake

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

'Are we there yet?'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Treasure Island Book.

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'