Pirate Lifestyle Gifts

My parrot died.

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

The Dubloon Stops Here

'Are we there yet?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Piracy on a boating lake

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

Treasure Island Book.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"According to the map, the treasure should be right behind that door."