Pirate Enthusiasts Gifts

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Short sighted pirates being turned away from a Pilates class.

"Not in front of the crew!"

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

Do you have any idea what this is doing to my high blood pressure right now?"

Three pirates at the urinal - one looks down and says 'Ahhr, so you must be Long John Silver?!'

Pirate has spike rather than hook, with paper on it: 'This job is not what it used to be ? too much paperwork for a start.'

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

"I've been re-skilled, Jim Lad."

Pirate with hook confronts pirate with swiss army knife hand.

Avast Ye,, matey - there be a complaint against ye. One of the sea hags from accountin' says ye been swabbin' yer deck in view of the interns.

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."

Pirate Treasure

'Been picking your nose again, Tom?'

'Are you sure there isn't something I could do for extra credit?'

I retired when the crew began calling me Salt and Pepper Beard

'I be a spokesman for Barclays bank, and i'm telling you it'll be many a year before you can trust us again.'

'Scallywag. S-C-A-L-L......' - Pirate School.

'Honestly, all I'm looking for is a job with a better health insurance plan.'

"How about this line?"

Long John Covid

'You don't have shoulder tendonitis. The bird has just been perched there too long.'

"Don't fret, lassie, I brought my own shovel."

"How many letters can you read?"

"Try the other eye Captain!"

"We're almost to Britain, Captain. Might be a good time to practice your silent ARRRRs."

"I said you should have stuck with a parrot"

Drunk pirate with a wheel on the bottom of his peg leg being wheeled home by his parrot

Scores for walking the plank

'ARRGH! Me Hearty!!'

'Where's my parrot? -- the dirty bum is in the witness protection program!'

Swiss Army Hook.

'We're modern day pirates, but we don't look like modern day pirates.'

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

A cat using a pirate's leg as a scratching post.