Pirate Lore Aficionado Gifts

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

'Call yourself a pirate. Where's your parrot?'

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Piracy on a boating lake

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

'Are we there yet?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Pirate

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'