Fans Of Pirate Lore Gifts

'Let's face it, Cap'n -- we're dead in the water!'

'Cannonball!'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

Ghostship

'We should talk more.'

Pirate King

"The captain says we have to stay up here until we stop acting so childish."

'I bought him from a sailor!'

Daily Grind...'I'm getting too old for this!'

Pirate Captain Wears Pirate Slogan T-Shirt

"I made him do the plank."

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

Doctor telling pirate he has termites in his wooden leg.

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

'He tells a great story, but the truth is that he was drinking a mai tai, and the little umbrella poked him in the eye.'

'Yes, it is a nice ship but it cost me an arm and a leg.'

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

'In battle, we might fight in opposite sides, but when buying shoes we are partners.'

'I assume Sir requires a hands-free model?'

Somewhere on the Coast of Somalia...

"A plaster on yer knee, not much of a pirate, are we?"

Octo-Pirate

'The bad cholesterol molecules are the ones with scars and eye patches.'

Pirate eye chart.

'New affirmative action rules, boys -- we have to hire some Somalis.'

Old boatmen impressing children with made up stories about having been a smuggler

"We 'ave an agreement, then - I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine."

"This turns our understanding of mermaids completely upside down."