Pilgrimage Ponderer Gifts

"I'll be here on your way back."

'I never tire of watching Hippies go by: They're so colourful...'

'Welcome to Lourdes'

John Bunyan

Crowded Ice Fishing

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

CartoonStock Upload

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

George Santayana

"How long has he been missing?"

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."