Pigskin Pundit Gifts

'Here.'

"Holding superstar quarterback accountable—token penalty after the kickoff."

This is not what I meant by "huddled masses."

'He threw four interceptions and blew a 14 point lead in the fourth quarter... get the spin doctor!'

Football.

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

'Am I crazy...or does this thing smell just like uncle Earl?'

Stop the big guy!

"Another meeting?"

'Before I call the next play, does anybody want my autograph?'

NFL Antitrust case...

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"

Mario Draghi

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

New York Scatological Society

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

Vikings to the Super bowl.

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

The Fishbowl Dynasty

"Technically, when the manufacturer wants your car back, it's a recall. When the bank does it, it's a repossession."

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

"... and if you guys don't shape up, I'm going to have to start kicking some butt around here."

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

Grab your helmet, Jenkins – Coach just called the trick play.