Pigskin Prodigy Gifts

'Getting warmer... warmer... hot... boiling hot...'

'Relax, Jake. You are the starting quarterback - for now. But we are grooming Timmy for the future.'

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Football.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

Stop the big guy!

Prodigy - Woofgang Amadeus Mozart.

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'So you're a billionaire... Now what?' 'Have you learned to clean your room yet?'

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'

Midnight in Minnesota

'He destroyed his inner balance! ... Get the yoga coach!'

"Holding superstar quarterback accountable—token penalty after the kickoff."

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"

"Another meeting?"

'Am I crazy...or does this thing smell just like uncle Earl?'

'Quit rushing me.'

Another football season comes to an end.

'Now that's Hi-def!'

"Oh look, honey, a touchdown. . . oops, that's not your team, is it dear?"

And the "double-yolker" award this month goes to Irma: three!

Dibs!

'What's your secret? I can't get mine to follow.'