Pigskin Strategist Gifts

'Quit rushing me.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

"Works every time."

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

Football.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

Vikings to the Super bowl.

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

Stop the big guy!

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

'War is heck!'

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

"... and if you guys don't shape up, I'm going to have to start kicking some butt around here."

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

Grab your helmet, Jenkins – Coach just called the trick play.

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'

With the Latest Snow and Frigid Cold Things to Consider . . .

NFL Antitrust case...

Midnight in Minnesota

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

'He destroyed his inner balance! ... Get the yoga coach!'

"Holding superstar quarterback accountable—token penalty after the kickoff."

'Am I crazy...or does this thing smell just like uncle Earl?'

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"

"Another meeting?"

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'Here.'