Pigeon Keeper Gifts

"All I know is the pigeons flew away and now I got flamingoes."

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

A house cat fishes in a goldfish bowl

'Go on - they're organic!'

Pigeon Memos

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

Military man has pigeons lined up in front of him.

'Legend has it, he was known as the pigeon whisperer.'

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

'You spoil those pigeons.'

"I had that fish for so long it evolved, climbed out of the bowl and walked away."

"Don't talk to your dad - he hasn't had his morning coffee yet!"

'Well, you have people pox.'

Bird Messaging

"Don't fall for it! He's just trying to fatten you up for Thanksgiving!"

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

Carrier Pigeons

Chicken Feed

"I'd say my biggest influence is probably Pollock."

Hot dog vendor in the rain.

Nelson.

'Man, this guy's killing me!'

Dreams of different species.

'It's a dirty lie... I only drink to be sociable!'

'Of course I ate the Goldfish: What did they expect me to do? It's my nature, I can't help it...'

'Not more junk mail!'

"Methinks hitting 'Reply to all' doth you a disservice, sire."