Phoning Pillows

'Say-you don't suppose she LIVES in there?'

'Charlotte is on the phone constantly...but, I don't mind...anything that cuts into her shopping time can't be all bad.'

"I'm trying out a new coping mechanism."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

'The King of what?'

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"My computer just texted me."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

Time management office worker

A senior moment.

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

Battersea dogs home - dog answering the 'phone

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

"Hi! I'm on the tree!"

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

"I couldn't get a signal while I was at the mall. I can now relate to those songs that sing about the blues."