Telephone Pillows

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"I'm sorry, all the emergency services are busy at the moment - please hold."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"After you go get you phone and fix the window, I'll show you how to properly deal with robocalls."

'On a scale of 1 to 10 how irritating do I find telephone surveys?...'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Your call is very important to us --- We make a lot of money selling lists of phone numbers.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Hello, 911? … The pizza place isn't answering their phone!!

'I'll have to go - someone's knocking at the door.'

"Hello, this is a recording ... That is, it isn't a recording while I'm making it, of course, but it will be, or rather is, a recording when you hear it ... or, in other words ..."

This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.

'You can begin.. I'm on HOLD..'

'Welcome to the OCD helpline. Please press '9' to continue. . . Press it again.'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'We are unable to complete your call as dialed. Please remove your mittens and dial your call again.'

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"Look, I don't mind being on hold, but my retirement party is starting in five minutes."

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"This isn't a sales call? Aren't all calls, in the final analysis, sales calls?"

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Nuts to you, too."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"My computer just texted me."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Yes, I'm alone."

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone