Telephone Communication Pillows

'A real person's answered it. I hate that. I'll call back when their voicemail's activated.'

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

'Would you like to leave a message? At the moment, he's in a meeting with his field hands.'

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

Stop smoking help line

'Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it!'

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

"Do you realise that, apart from the obscene phone calls, I don't hear another human voice all day?"

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"Nuts to you, too."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Data From a Truck

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

Fat Kid 17- Swallows the phone

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

HUAWEI 5G

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.