Phones Pillows

"Go into Settings, Privacy, Activity Controls, Web Activity, Manage Activity, and deselect Giant Snake."

Evolution of Man

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

And after our practice sessions, I can't stress this enough - Do not breathe directly into the headset. It scares people.

Grandma Telephone

'It's just like e-mail, only you hear people talking.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"Did you ever wonder where your phone is while you're looking at it?"

'Wanna come out and play?'

People on mobile phones, traffic lights read DON'T TALK.

"Huh. According to this, I've logged more screen hours than actually exist in a day."

Battersea dogs home - dog answering the 'phone

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking!'

Your license please!

'Oh Charles! I didn't think you were in. I have something important to tell you and I wanted to leave a message.'

"Don't give me that smug 'I can't always talk to you because I still have a land line' look."

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

Lionesses angry at lion as his mobile phone has gone off while stalking gazelle

Dr Samuel Crank, inventor of the trick call.

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

"Wonderful! This way I can go block after block talking to myself and nobody looks at me as if I were crazy."

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

'I though I'd developed tinnitus, then I remembered we still have a landline.'

'...For someone who really cares call your mother.'

"A couple more data breach settlements and I'll have enough money to buy a new phone!"

"I got an Orange for Xmas and my brother got an Apple"

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

'Sorry, babes, but I need to hang up. My mobile's just become unfashionable.'

And then a voice came down from the Lord...

"It's for him ... "

More and more people around the world are asking to be buried WITH their mobile phones, in case of a premature burial...

"I said I wanted a Nokia - get back here."

You want tech support. This is mockery and belittlement.

Gregor metamorphosed into a giant cockroach and he hasn't even noticed yet.

"No, not the way you dress...everyone's complaining about your ringtone."