Smartphones Pillows

"He looks so natural."

Better Living Through Technology

Warning Sign For Texters.

"Cell phone...must...have...cell...phone."

'I embrace diversity. Some of my friends use Androids, some have iPhones, and others use Blackberries.'

"This one's too hard to type on while I'm driving."

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

'How's it going, Rachel?'

"Are you concerned about the increase in artificial intelligence?"

'Swing? We'll drop our phones!'

Multitaskers Anonymous: We're All Mostly Listening

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I keep thinking this is going to be the app that changes everything for me.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

Unfortunately, Dr. Smythe's conclusion went unheeded.

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

"Let me just charge it for ten more seconds."

'My job was replaced by an app. What's more humiliating, it was a free app.'

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

"I don't know why. I just suddenly felt like calling."

"I'm prescribing stronger glasses for you, and I recommend a neck brace for your smartphone use."

'Seriously! My parents say they remember when all you could do with a cell phone was make calls.'

'Noooooooo! Please don't kill my phone!'

"I feel like everybody's podcasting and nobody's podlistening."

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'We're letting you go . . . your smart hone can do your job without you.'

"Never mind your technology, in my day we had to deliver our jokes by hand!"

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

'I'm afraid your daughter has a severe case of texter's neck and I see some serious tweeter's thumbs developing, as well!'

The Paleo-Information Age/The Information Age/The "Whoa, Too Much Information!" Age.

"I'll have my AI get in touch with your AI."

"I've tried rebooting it several times, but the news is still terrible."

'Had it all until I lost my Blackberry.'