Smartphone Selector Pillows

If you kids can't do your chores, you can't be online. We're researching! No work, no screens. Unfair! You asked us. I did not ask you to cruise electronics sites all day. But, mom! You said you wanted our Christmas lists! It's a chore to pick the best Smart Phone.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

Elfie Stick

Likes: $2.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Would you relax? They never look up."

Text Culture

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Textin’"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Giraffe Selfie

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Klimt Kiss Phones

The Modern Novel.

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

Shellfie

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

"Never mind the sea, does it get wi-fi?"

"You don't need a duck call. I can just download this Find-a-Fowl app."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"