Smartphones Gifts

"He looks so natural."

Better Living Through Technology

Warning Sign For Texters.

"Cell phone...must...have...cell...phone."

"This one's too hard to type on while I'm driving."

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

'How's it going, Rachel?'

"Are you concerned about the increase in artificial intelligence?"

'I keep thinking this is going to be the app that changes everything for me.'

Multitaskers Anonymous: We're All Mostly Listening

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Swing? We'll drop our phones!'

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

"I don't know why. I just suddenly felt like calling."

"Let me just charge it for ten more seconds."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'My job was replaced by an app. What's more humiliating, it was a free app.'

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'

Unfortunately, Dr. Smythe's conclusion went unheeded.

"I feel like everybody's podcasting and nobody's podlistening."

'Noooooooo! Please don't kill my phone!'

'Seriously! My parents say they remember when all you could do with a cell phone was make calls.'

"I'm prescribing stronger glasses for you, and I recommend a neck brace for your smartphone use."

The Paleo-Information Age/The Information Age/The "Whoa, Too Much Information!" Age.

'I'm afraid your daughter has a severe case of texter's neck and I see some serious tweeter's thumbs developing, as well!'

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

"Never mind your technology, in my day we had to deliver our jokes by hand!"

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

'Your mother and I would give up our lives for you, sell our souls for you, but we would laugh like insane clowns if youwere to seriously ask for a smartphone, so there you have the boundaries of our love in the clearest terms.'

"I've tried rebooting it several times, but the news is still terrible."

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes I took his phone away?"

Monkeys hear no evil, see no evil, say no evil and talk on the mobile phone.

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."