Phones T-Shirts

"Go into Settings, Privacy, Activity Controls, Web Activity, Manage Activity, and deselect Giant Snake."

Evolution of Man

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

And after our practice sessions, I can't stress this enough - Do not breathe directly into the headset. It scares people.

Grandma Telephone

'It's just like e-mail, only you hear people talking.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Wanna come out and play?'

"Did you ever wonder where your phone is while you're looking at it?"

"Huh. According to this, I've logged more screen hours than actually exist in a day."

People on mobile phones, traffic lights read DON'T TALK.

"Wonderful! This way I can go block after block talking to myself and nobody looks at me as if I were crazy."

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

Your license please!

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking!'

Battersea dogs home - dog answering the 'phone

And then a voice came down from the Lord...

'Sorry, babes, but I need to hang up. My mobile's just become unfashionable.'

'I though I'd developed tinnitus, then I remembered we still have a landline.'

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

Dr Samuel Crank, inventor of the trick call.

'...For someone who really cares call your mother.'

Lionesses angry at lion as his mobile phone has gone off while stalking gazelle

'Oh Charles! I didn't think you were in. I have something important to tell you and I wanted to leave a message.'

"Don't give me that smug 'I can't always talk to you because I still have a land line' look."

"A couple more data breach settlements and I'll have enough money to buy a new phone!"

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"If you would like to receive a guaranteed annual income of a million dollars or more, press 'one' now."

"Honey! That 'meow' ringtone’s gotta go!"

SLAPP

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."