Making Phone Calls Pillows

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'The King of what?'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

A senior moment.

Time management office worker

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'I'm sorry, Mr. President, he can't come to the phone right now...he's doing that crazy hand jive.'

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

'I'd love you to come round, Samantha - but I'm sipping my cocoa all ready for sleepy bo-bos.'

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

...the onion rings

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"Can you hold a moment? I've asked you before not to donate my organs till after I'm dead."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Robinson Crusoe on the phone - "Big job. No problem, it'll be done by Friday."

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."