Phone Fixer Gifts

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

'Every time a phone dies, he buries it.'

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

Cyber disease.

'Try rebooting.'

Marriage counselor clients: 'Always right,,,never wrong'

Call before you dig!

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

"Dad, my doorknob broke...can you fix it?"

"The problem with our marriage is that we can't afford marriage counselling."

'You've done a fine job throwing money at problems, Senator, but I think it's time to bring in a reliever.'

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

Leaking washing machine.

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

'My cash flow? It flows right out of my hands to my creditors.'