Phone Call Joker Pillows

"This is a recorded message. You are in a queue. For opening times, press 1. For prices, press 2. For complaints, press: 564387654487665437554389..."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Cold caller.

Toilet humour

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

Psychobabble.

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

A clown & his clone.

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'A room with double beds, please.'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

'Call me back - the old trout's on the other line.'

"Hang on a second! This nutcase is allowed on the furniture, but I'm not?!"

Restroom Practical Joke.

Cloning Around

Lost: Grizzly Bear. 8 Years Old. Loves To Sneak Up On People.

Reboot Me.

'That's mighty inspiring, Bucky, but I reckon my best hope for gittin' outta this quicksand is for you to reach me that cardboard tube.'