Cellphone Joker Pillows

"Anyone not turning off their phones will be appointed to solicit parishioners for our fund drive."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

The Communicator

Overworked

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

'Call me back - the old trout's on the other line.'

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

'Take a message...'

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Woman holding two phones together.

'Let me put you on ignore ... I mean hold.'

Anyone around here answer to the name of 'Sheep-for-brains'?

"Gotta go."

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

Multitasking.

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

'Why Mr. Root, I had no idea you were not happy with your work here at crisis services!'

"Actually, Mother, this is a bad time ..."

'Can I call you back, I'm chasing a car.'

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

'The number you have reached has gone bankrupt....'

Alexander Graham Bell

'Thank you for calling the attention deficit disorder hotline. . . please continue to hold. . .'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'Sorry, you can't take it with you...that includes your iphone.'

'Don't move.'

'Great! To top it all off, I've been put on hold!'

Ahab's Last Call.

'Got to go...just been lobbed.'