Cellphone Joker Gifts

"Anyone not turning off their phones will be appointed to solicit parishioners for our fund drive."

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

The Communicator

Overworked

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

'Call me back - the old trout's on the other line.'

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

'Take a message...'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."

Woman holding two phones together.

"Gotta go."

Multitasking.

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

'Let me put you on ignore ... I mean hold.'

Anyone around here answer to the name of 'Sheep-for-brains'?

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

'Why Mr. Root, I had no idea you were not happy with your work here at crisis services!'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

"Actually, Mother, this is a bad time ..."

'Thank you for calling the attention deficit disorder hotline. . . please continue to hold. . .'

'Can I call you back, I'm chasing a car.'

Alexander Graham Bell

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

'The number you have reached has gone bankrupt....'

'Sorry, you can't take it with you...that includes your iphone.'

'Don't move.'

'Great! To top it all off, I've been put on hold!'

Ahab's Last Call.